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Bienvenue and welcome to Dupont Humanite
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| Running sheet for Key Concepts and Development: prelim and first draft, with pics and sounds! |
[May. 20th, 2007|08:57 pm] |
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| [ | Current Location |
| | On the next plane out (I wish!) | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  productive | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Affirmation by Savage Garden (quel appros!) | ] |
1. Opening slide
Key concepts and developments - hello - introduction - personal statement
2. The developmental hegemony
3. Reaction/response: bridging efforts
4. The geopolitical alternative/challenge
5. What is our challenge? when, where, why, how?
6. Both models have something to offer (see 2 and 4)
7. Both models have opportunity benefits and costs
8. Both have contributed to the world: individually, inter/intra personally (transactionally), locally, regionally, globally
9. For us to work effectively and efficiently in both models: necessary and sufficient conditions
10. We need accurate, relevant and comphrehensive.
NO one source or model has ALL we need. A valuable life lesson!
11. So we must do all in our power (trust ourselves - Dr Spock
trust each other - Nussbaum capability theory.
12. To promote, initiate, maintain and terminate: a continuum of options and necessary and sufficent conditions.
13. People, circumstances, theories/models, praxis ...
14. CHANGE OVER TIME!
15. We may truly say: "the only constant is change".
16. Change may - known or unknown to the change agents/actions - bring uncertainity (more properly, degrees of certainty and nuances thereof!)
17. What do we know? Where did we come from - where are we going? We must be receptive to queries and concerns.
18. When two models clash, there are always instances of productive uncertainity with all its inherent anxiety.
19. - BUT massive and permanent changes that
20. Pay off in Mastery of Competence (or at least Competence)
21. What do we mean by competence? * ability * skill. It can be developed and can be localised or globalised (or tranactionalised or regionalised!)
22. So to bridge change and uncertainity we need to ASSUME COMPETENCE.
23. Everything WILL be fine! - at least we won't die tomorrow.
24. One second is temporary. Two seconds is permanent.
25. More specifically if the interaction (viz. change) which stays with us in memory and imagination.
26. We reveal ourselves most when we deal with difference. Ideally we must have difficulty and challenge to function well. We must be out of our comfort zone!
27. How do we think? Feel? Act? NOW?
28. In terms of our model: a developmentalist may feel vertigo in space, while her geopolitical colleague may lose time.
(lose in time?)
29. Response to change uncertainity and challenge within and outside our working model.
30. Working models are a metarepresentation of our strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats.
31. They are not perfect. They are (nearly) always a rough draft.
32. which affects our processes and goals in meeting our own expectations and measurement against ideal and reality.
33. "A house divided" Strive for tolerance excellence balance and harmony.
34. How do we achieve this? Why bother?
(picture of frazzled person, map and clock)
35. My tendency to get into the wrong place at the wrong time, as a child and young teenager could have been a life-threatening weakness.
36. However as I have grown through my experiences (up and down are developmental literalisms masked as geopolitical figuratives and metaphors. To an extreme geopolitican this extreme developmental metaphor is extremely legless and not worthy of the name in any shape way or form.
37. I soon learnt I had a knack for meeting the right people in almost any and every situation. Thus a great strength can be a lifetime opportunity.
38. Bridging efforts are most relevant when and where they bring strengths to the table!
39. Bridging systems produce uncertainity and risk when they deal with strenght weakness opportunity and threat.
40. We need to orientate in place and time. No escape. No excuses. Pure and simple reality.
41. We can attune with others.
42. Together we can build relationships.
43. Whose consequences will stay with us for life.
44. (Well, for a crucial period or a transitional one).
45. Dealing with - or healing from transition?
46. Transition brings shock trauma grief.
47. Transition is a special kind of change.
48 Very often its benefits and costs are one-time only.
49. This does not apply to opportunities and threats.
50. No matter what. We are the person we have learnt to be. We shape ourselves to be this person. (Our behaviour, thinking, cognition, affective feelings, our stuff we've accumulated is not us - well, not the essential us, I feel. We are what we decide to be fundamentally, conscious or no!)
51. Transition is an excellent way to gain clarity and re-evaluate ourselves.
52. One such transition for me ...
53. Transition is NOT one big thing. It is several little things.
54. "Take care of the pennies ..." One time they didn't but mostly they will.
55. Learning and applying: political social and historical enquiry.
56. Models of leadership and management: from the inspirational to the shambolic.
57. I am an excellent capacity builder. I identify, recognise, strategise and encourage for, with and to the best.
58. "When your good is good enough". Peter Wheatley my athletic mentor.
59. Sometimes we have to abandon good in favour of good enough. (What about when we choose? Any choice in the matter?)
60. What leads to tolerance and acceptance down the road will almost lead to betrayal. We must be constantly vigilant of possibilities and realities in this regard and other emotionally/morally 'dreadful places' and with potentially/actually 'dreadful people'.
61. It was designed - or evolved - that way. Don't blame the Man (not if we can't help it! - or he/she for that matter! What we can't help, he/she/it can't - if you're a secular humanist or have that core belief system).
62. Change the system and/or work with it? Find attitudes, values, a belief system, for heaven's sake, if you haven't one or are only starting to develop one but you haven't any confidence or skill in grasping the concept.
63. Our model operates for and with the long haul - toujours la pratique - STRAIGHT FROM THE HIP rough trans - NO QUICK FIXES!
64. Further quick fixes have greater-than-anticipated opportunity costs.
65. I'd really appreciate it if you read the signifier/sign here and regarded it from the POV signified: DO NOT BE TEMPTED. To be ruder and cruder but still (dys?)euphemistic: DECENCY FORBIDS QUICK FIXES, or THIS IS A QUICK FIX FREE ZONE. Strive for it in all your dealings and then you will encounter real life healings!
66. Five LJ rules.
67. Find excellence in spreading and disseminating (ideas? messages? memes? germinating? generativity?)
68. Stay aware - stay proud! (How does one get aware - get proud - get a life? Are the two a necessary sufficient condition for #3?)
69. Amigos par Siempre. We can teach the world to sign in harmony...
70. And/while embracing benevolence, controllability, meaning ... the world almost always has something to teach us.
71. Identify learning blocks fearlessly and courageously in yourself - others - the system - the world - those for whom you are responsible and those who are and were responsible for you.
72. Work with them not for them or against them. (Especially not this last!).
73. Take-away message/homework post-presentation. Goodbye. I'll be back.
au revoir! a bientot a tout mes amis et mes petites et le Systeme D.
(Goodbye, friends, children and the Establishment; in plain Anglo-Saxon or coherent conclusion to oral presentation talk - maximal capacity in politisse/finesse - strike right balance of harmony, formality and grace!)
CONCLUDING REMARKS
QUESTION, ANSWER AND DISCUSSION - point out interesting, famous or questing audience members and do vox pop/street talk.
(This last could be fun fun fun in the Oslo sun!)
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| Preparation for GAT and June and October tests |
[Jun. 12th, 2006|08:36 am] |
"Tant que je puis".
Funnily enough, most of the school that we are proud of ...
rather that I was proud of attending from 1996 to 2001 ...
that I had given very significant service to both academically, socially and co-curricularly ...
from the first week when I got roped into explaining why I was high on life ...
(oddly I'd have a persuasive article about this right up. And I never thought ten years go this year I would have had a ministry. Thank you Hillside Youth and Ian Purse for having always been so reality based and yet saving us through and by love, to quote Amy Grant, Contemporary Christian Singer.)
One thing you can do to prepare yourself for adult life is practice writing to a time limit.
There really are so many things you can write to at least three hours.
I am sure you can all produce at least two text responses.
I wonder Cate, Helen and Lynnette are so tolerant.
Of course Lyn being the learning and teaching manager ... if you lot don't start doing the teachers credit, heads are going to roll.
It's better to take the punches and roll with them now than regret it when it comes to VTAC. This is in little more than 14 weeks from now or as early as 6. You should try and get in the very first week. Decide one's preferences in the summer, put in the work this semester, show what you can do with the GAT.
There are lots of naturally occuring situations for point of view and more especially for analysis.
This very blog has a lot of them.
A lot about finding ideas for writing is looking for a sentence you like.
Two things we miss about VISE/VAC/HSC/TOP/T12/VATE qualifications.
Actively examine yourself, your life, your friends, your classmates.
Remember a wise old Athenian said: The unexamined life is not worth living.
Can you identify the man without looking at a reference?
An Internet reference?
Do you still preference print?
Do you use materials comicontant to your learning ability (your best guess/estimate)?
I believe in the Junior School Phys Ed and Sport Ed was full of things like goal setting. I have benefited handsomely. I'm not going to Germany yet but click under the folksomy for Churchill Fellowship.
Where do you see yourself in one years/three years/five years time/ten years time/twenty years time/fifty years time?
KS (not the Visegrad trustee co-guarante) but my German teacher made us keep a journal. Many of the ideas I learnt to express in there and the techniques and skills.
I do fear that we've had a lot of insecurity (expressed as crimes against learning, crimes against teachers, crimes against peers, crimes against younger students. I hope you were responsible. It has always disappointed me when members of the top form - at least above 2.0 did not behave like it).
Learn psychology, philosophy, sociology, anthropology, media studies, communication studies.
Read the newspaper and literary anthologies and magazines of record.
Maurani is one of those. You know who makes it who you are?
The only M I didn't see myself in was 1999. Yet it was so powerful.
I remember when Michael Gawenda came to our place, under the auspices of his daughter.
He would be one powerful ally.
Another one was Peter Pidduck. I'll show you what he's been able to do. Shame he had to leave.
I feel sorry for Mr Thompson. I love the guy dearly and I always will. His was the one class I could do history without shame. And I can't believe my co-top-student and my very dear friends discussed Poland freely without shame and embarrassment. Thank you for giving me motivation and purpose in everything. Your memory is a beautiful one in a dark and vulnerable period and propelled me to success and thinking of others.
I would also like to thank Helen Van Der Nagel. Like another Helen four years later in the Professional Writing and Editing Department, she has always pushed us to achieve beyond her best. The woman is a mental and physical giant athlete. Another person who has inspired me is Peter Wheatley of Knox Little Athletics. No greater love has Van Der Nagel than for those who endure and strive. Even in her seemingly weaker students - physically, mentally and emotionally - she has produced an appetite for success and good work. She teaches the texts so wonderfully, and her methods might be seen as pandering to English Lite. I think she is more a Leavis person and she honours the traditions of reader-response which this implies. If you have never read Joseph Conrad, I think you will receive such an awakening and it will genuinely feel like a coming. When I was introduced to Amy Foster the movie, it made me really want to read Lord Jim and all the other Marlow stories. Look at Conrad especially for stylistic features and the way he forms and structures a narrative. I hope this serves you well in looking at Christopher's story as told in Curious Incident, which I am still not quite sure about, even now. It baffles me.
My Geography teachers would be so proud of me for doing the right thing. I speak naturally enough of Carolyn Dunkley, Colleen Guye (whose sister Fiona was a wonderful mentor, and wait until she sees me now, and Oonagh and Sinead will be direct beneficiaries, as will Berne, she had continually to redirect me) and especially Hilda Knight. From the time she had reached out to a lonely girl who despite it all had a sense of humour. She listened to me, she humoured me, she validated me in my academic life. I have developed skills and attitudes which will have carried me far. Five years after I studied my last outcome in the European Union - sadly enough during September 11. I was still writing recommendations in that dark day not quite five and a half years ago. I said those things and I so have stuck by them - and she will be so proud of me and I of her. I am very proud of Anita and Jody, who first I met at our Year 7 celebration. You girls have grown up so strong and fine and you continue to inspire me, as does Rosie, who must have grown up so fast.
I have only really had three Studio Arts teachers in my life. We all know I am not good at Art, at least at doing things which gain marks. We did no art theory during the junior years, and I did no art. I would like to thank Laverne Simmons and her daughter Sarah. You two are a profound influence on my development. I would never have thought, so soon after rough, tumbles and pratfalls.
You children have seen through September 11 and March 20 and March 12 2004 in Madrid. Last year you prepared for the London bombings. I was able to rise above it. We went to the St Kilda poetry fest and it was a spiritual feast after famine. This year I have read during Upwey.
Here is some mentoring and leadership work.
http://theopenclassroom.blogspot.com/
http://mccyeareight.learnerblogs.org/ (set these vulnerable young women a good example, unlike me! Tell them you come from over the hills and not nearly so far away as these girls may think).
http://mccyear12.learnerblogs.org/ (splendid and sterling work - you can do as well or better. Catholic Schools are not as threatening as independents).
http://susaneights.learnerblogs.org/
And he is absolutely right - I remember when I was guided through a poetry reading by this Shakespearean Lake Poet of the third millenium during the end of the last. Megan Follows though inspiring could never hold a candle. And the tenacious D and his friends are there, though cleverely and discreetly disguised.
http://www.stella.org.au/narratives.jsp (more general stuff, might really interest and inspire you. Show everything to someone you trust).
http://vcaa.vic.edu.au/vce/studies/english/englishassess/2005/EnglishAssRep2005.pdf
http://vcaa.vic.edu.au/vce/studies/english/englishassess/2004/englishnov04.pdf
http://vcaa.vic.edu.au/vce/studies/english/englishassess/2003/english03.pdf
http://vcaa.vic.edu.au/vce/studies/english/eslassess/2002/Eng_ESL_Writ_Ex.pdf
http://vcaa.vic.edu.au/vce/studies/english/englishassess/2001/Englishexam.pdf
(Read parts 1 and 2 language analysis and point of view. I will put up my contemporary notes as part of the portfolio to show Visegrad Trust what I have been up to - ie not no good - do not try using a double negative in the GAT or the exam - particularly as one of our missions is to tutor people to actively communicate, socialise and imagination).
(And I would check the English Literature and English Language Papers).
This teacher is splendid. If you have ever wanted to be one, you will be inspired.
I don't know if you should examine it per se
Get Watson, Van Der Nagel and Doyle at least to leverage the power of the blog, the wiki and other social software. We have always been behind the eight ball and I am virtually self-taught. If it wasn't for Susan I wouldn't have learnt anything useful at all, particularly 1998-200. Besides, this is how I met Luke Henderson and crew. Very hard-working motivated people. May you all succeed in your chosen careers and developmental trajectories, building bridges.
Clarence Fisher, always an interesting and relevant blogger at any time
He is indeed a reflective teacher. He writes and speaks as if he'd been doing it all his life, yet 2005-06 is his debut.
This woman has been leveraging all my work. She continues to be a lotus in the mud and has been for the last six months. Shame I've lost my blogging address.
And I meant it this time. I would have added since .... but it seems flippant. Stay wise, be safe, practice constant vigilance. This is a high standard of reading and writing.
Excellent stuff. I wish some people twice their age would produce HALF as consistently. I appreciate that blogs did not exist until most of you who are now here at this point (terminale)
The committee are committed and the articles are of a uniformly high standard. I now pass the torch on to someone who can act and observe in the breach when it comes to books and stories.
General Kaiden's fanfiction, especially Harry Potter. One tells about the things we experienced contempariously. I did wonder with interest and read The Orb of Ultimate Power
The same writer, in FictionPress. He has a wonderful portfolio. I am glad in hindsight that I never stopped listening - and I'm just glad he never shut up. Like him or hate him, do not ignore him. Actually, do or do not. After fifteen years of standing by, understanding and bystanding ... oh God I have no words.
Let us lobby and thank god for Eurotrance just after Eurovision. Let us return to the alpha and hope to hurry the omega, with the Athenian tradition of free speech and democracy lessening the distance between us. I can't believe we are still so young and yet such achievers. I'm proud too. I would love to call him brother and his recent wife my sister-by-marriage-and-covenant-geopolitique. That was a developmental baptism of fire for them both. You can see differences in temperament. He is cool and mellow.
Sharon Grey wrote a wonderfully philosophical piece. I never dreamed quite so much about the personal being the (geo)political until I saw this woman's challenge to developmental hegemony. Early in 2001 Doyle used her to indicate personal writing.
If you want to have your mind blown. Personally I do prefer my highs from other channels.
I too can lucid dream! At least this is better than intrusive thoughts, flashbacks and (the cost of hyper/hypo/'white noise' [focusing on irrelevancies]/test pattern [just as it suggests)vigilance
Channel 31 Melbourne: a splendid example of independent TV.
We have such good creatives on our side from all sides. We should so bid for a licence
http://eratv.topcities.com/
I hope they showed the Hungarofest - of more in a moment. James Lyne, Kate Bolton ... creme de la creme ... got some great fun out of me. More on the parody shortly, after Voice, my first effort in this time. I handed it to Mrs Doyle on Open Day.Northern Access TV. Enough said. McLauchlan, Downey and the others do a splendid sterling job.
I performed on this during Shelton's death and wake. Lea was one of the Darrell Lea's adopted sons, and had a very interesting life which I'll divulge in my Writing Folio.
Sterling work
A precious woman while debilitated in 2003 still survives - at least enough to learn about computers!
They must have done a lot of work. I can personally and professionally recommend JPG Media without hesitation.
My Dad is no longer a journalist but my Uncle (the little one) goes from strength to strength
He no longer works for Fairfax
He is the bard of my childhood and a true inspiration to students everywhere at all levels of theatre and stagecraft
Eve is a legend too. Her imaginary friend has inspired so many student artists to become professional in their approach to their folios.
These people made my childhood and adolescence worth living. I'm a late convert in early adulthood!
This blog speaks for and of itself!
If you want to research some aspect of familial or communual past this link explains how and why bother. It can be so rewarding, even though my mother doesn't think so. I am sure I shall convert her.
You people are awesome. Imagine: 10 years of the web
The man who started it all in (ca) 1989-1992
Clear back in November we discussed Curious Incident - processed four years after the event. Well, months. Depression does strange things to the waistline, not to mention you can no longer bend your knees and your brain is swimming in deep water.
If you sincerely and love inspirational music with a poetic feature, then this lady's website is superlative and awesome. And she was on ROVE.
Most Aussies and enlightened honest internationalists, pace Powderfinger, mean McManus. The maniac has given lots of students inspiration and work experience
I would so love to be in my hero's sport. He is a sportsman and will, to me, be forever remembered.
The making of me as a woman. I am Geopolitical Woman, hear me roar.
This is the woman who made Generation X's phooar!
Celebrity death march: Sharon vs the Shepherdess
Try defending this arrangement. He has 50 in Business Management - first class honours anywhere - and yet when it comes to the crunch he has betrayed me. Well, misunderstanding never killed a woman, or even made her acutely/chronically sick. We'll prove them wrong at Mitcham!
This is a reality-based VCE/HSC community for all students and all stripes.
See you at the realistic community for real life work experience, payoffs and working on behalf of the vulnerable, the desensitised, the sensitives (in the schizoid/schizotypal sense, so close and yet so far from Wing's loners)
This woman admits 25 years later that two Wings don't make a Wong, nor a Song. Still she is credited for this feat of psycharacheology.
This woman has a brain and she knows where we keep ours and theories thereof.
Do you have the cheap one? Watch it in the holidays and then you will understand me. You may condemn me, but at least you will have grounds.
Go for it kids. Go at them. Answer their surveys. The next step up from Memes. And Sydney vs Melbourne is valid, reliable and verifable cross culturalism
And lots lots more over the coming weeks.
(24.5.2006) |
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| What a great session - and what a bugger of a day! |
[May. 26th, 2006|04:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
I feel shocked, confused, ambivalent.
It's April 7 1995 in May 26 2006.
Unity in diversity.
Acceptance in rejection.
Reactive and proactive
Projective and so defensive.
My thoughts derail far too easily.
For right now - but not for ever - I may not be well enough to take on any intellectual, emotional or productive work.
I hate it. I've just overcome a tragi-comic life experience and the upshot is a psychiatric disability.
It was finally time for fate to be cruel when it has been so unexpectedly kind.
I am certain I did not deserve the blessings that I have.
I don't know whether that's optimistic or realistic.
I love healthy salads. Word salads - their verbal-lingustic equivalent are good.
I have a lot of other multiple intelligences and the past knowledge and hope of future wisdom will draw me through at least next week.
I guess the last bastion of empowerment - and the lifelong legacy of betrayal and incompetence and fraud and deception and everything else the whole shebang.
What a way to begin and what a way to end.
No more heros, no more slaves, no more gods.
I'm in this world and I hope I have allowed greater fantasy potentials to rise for reality.
Others will have to do the hard yards. From this time forward I have decided to act first last and only for myself.
I want to carry my own stability or security. Home, hospital or monastery; my options are going to be very limited.
Even the most permissive environment has rules.
Even the most loving people need structure. |
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| There I've said this: amid controversy and accusations of hacking |
[May. 26th, 2006|12:35 pm] |
Don't worry. I'm the only one who uses this computer.
And those who will use it for historical research will be strictly supervised.
I will put a web cam. This is standard EBP in social sciences and humanities.
My proud researchers and those who love to work and work to love for knowledge, information and free speech and living and other freedoms that have been fought for from Solidarnosc to the Accession to the Expansion.
It has been my experience - personally and productively and professionally - that Poles love freedom because they have worked hard for it. Generally Aussies have far too much and that is why they are growing fat like Keating's much-maligned pigs. For god's sake, you do not blame the victim, and you do not impugn an honest, activist survivor who is clearly grounded in a present and a future beyond human understanding and immediate concerns of some very stressed students.
Here we are. Nearly fifteen years (minus four months and add one - I always thought I'd be a strong mathematyka some day - any female words for scientific occupations and declensions thereof much appreciated).
Here is my article of faith and declaration of honesty, integrity, tolerance and respect.
I will continue to stand up and be a lotus in the mud for as long as the mermaid with the sword needs me |
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| Fraud and deception: a four dimensional ethical and philosophical and pragmatic thought |
[May. 26th, 2006|08:55 am] |
Mon Dieu.
I read that fraud is a deception made generally for personal gain.
Here's a direct bearing on my position as Co-guarnatee of a literary trust which aims to help the Polish-Australian, immigrant, indigenous and currency lads and lasses cope with each other with balance and harmony and maturity in our Global Village.
Crucial and central relevant question for which I appreciate feedback and whatever guidance you all can offer me from your experiences and core beliefs and values, as well as relevant susbidary ones
Has a civil/public servant ever the right to make a deception to protect somebody she loves, in order to avoid the greater evil of betrayal?
I think fraud is the embellishment or concealment of truth whereas betrayal aims to keep the person deliberately ignorant of the truth. Hoax, particularly in my own professional literary life can reveal or heighten truth and its relations to ethical loci of control and explicate power.
Therefore I stand by my conviction and have courage that fraud is actually less morally wrong than betrayal, and my primary ethical consideration leads to minimisation of harm and zero tolerance of malfeasance. If zero tolerance desires a net personal and professional gain and uses a flexible attitude to truth, we will then have an ethical and pragmatic moderate attitude to form.
With me truth is a middle order value. My top level values include tolerance, diplomacy, tact, sensivity, intelligence - logical and emotional, contemplation. I think truth comes into my top ten. It is a necessary but not sufficient condition for trust and nurture. A child still wants to love his mother and will make up lies to facillitate this, and a little later in his life he will go on with his friends and people he wants to please. The disease to please can be replaced by a capability approach over time with a gratitude attitude not a weaselly platitudial existence but an essence of being in which we can all live in truth whatever it may be. Truth to me is love patient and kind. It is one of the greatest ways of initiating and maintaining intimate boundaries of self-disclosure.
There that (re/rev?)solution is very Aristolean. |
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| Perhaps I'm not *so* institutionalised |
[May. 25th, 2006|04:39 pm] |
Well, maybe not.
And I didn't say I was institionalised here and now.
I almost certainly would be.
I want a tranquil not a restrictive placement with maximum freedom.
My mental health has been really great.
Still not so confident about writing vs. speaking.
It's like I never shut up.
Not only but also: I should never have listened to the people who would use their power and authority only to disempower me and silence me - or to silence anyone I care about. Silence I see as this delicate violet or maroon shield, and like a soft blanket that surrounds and nurtures and protects.
Some silence is like blue or yellow and that's when it's conspiciously inappropriate. And another red and black and green silence and sometimes yellow spots is when I feel too fucking tense and incochate with words. That would be the very very eptiome of the Just because I can't speak [right now/just yet] doesn't mean that I [won't have soon/when I choose to/when I am empowered/able] haven't anything to say." |
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| Tommy would be so proud of me: Embracing my other business interests! |
[May. 25th, 2006|04:31 pm] |
The T I am referring to is Tom Payten.
Dear boy; he showed a wonderful thing to us.
I love it when introverts show their extroverted side.
He made a presentation slide using Shockwave about FUCK and SHIT.
I love the reversal of roles and expectations.
Even when I'm scared to do it myself I find such self-confidence sexy. And it's like you're a spicy salsa with bits in it. Kids should SO experience this food. We learn SO much from taste. I can't believe my gustatory instincts are coming. I've had naught but milk and honey.
This is so Joseph and the Technicolour Dreamcoat meets The Lion King (1993 movie, and 1995 soundtrack. Oh, Jessie Ludekens - Ludekens family en masses - Daniel was another problematic gentleman who inspired my problem solving skills, particularly in creating a landscape through ICT concepts and practices. No, I've never been afraid. My very favourite authors as a girl really made girls who made loving computers sexy, and yet they didn't get afraid. I have never been afraid of computers, and yet over the past six years ... I sort of have been ... I have been acting as if my Internet is limited and there's no cost. I'll pay for it some day but I will own it here and now and not borrow trouble here).
And then I got scared. What if I can't do Visegrad and make the website all it should and could be? I want people to see our shop window. I can think if Sue Ryder or Anita Roddick did this they would so be thinking high street and their website would have the same focus and target audience. Yes, I'm so embracing my businesswoman.
In 1995 I had principles, boundaries and the courage to experience them and convey them to the reader so maybe she might be thinking she could pick and choose as a reliable and valid source. I must be asking a terrible lot of you guys. But I have always been accustomed to asking and then getting. But I think there is a disconnect. I don't get want. I get needs, and I get Maslow's Heirarchy.
I am not making so many social gaffes, because I am so focused and I have my boundaries way in place. I'm well defended but probably not nearly as unhealthily so. I know enmeshment now. It's like the child has died inside the mother and could not possibly be nourished enough. I will so ask Pani L and then go to Pani B and her boy and girl (they gave her a name day scarf and Pani Ania - Bozena's sister - was having this incredible journey, and she told me lots about what The Palace of Culture and Science - which I wrote a poem about, arguing about the library as the Palace of Culture. I don't know about the science part, but I am so going to use it as leverage and a bargaining chip. Oh, dear, I love the token economy and the social exchange of food. If I ever end up using ABA there is not going to be not enough. Oh, the children will know that the universe and especially those who love and trust will get abundance.
This has not been my truth for a number of years now.
Shit, I'm even more institionalised and disempowered than I thought.
And I also have more capacity for healing and growing and changing.
I am much better at holding two ideas in my head for longer.
I can so parallel play now. |
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| Them's fighting words: a nuanced perspective |
[May. 25th, 2006|04:16 pm] |
There are dimensions of the English language I could not have possibly perceived when I was 17 or 18.
I don't know that Charlotte Bronte felt them either when she was my contemporary and at a comparable stage of writing. I was always far more terse, and not descriptive. I think I have the commonality that I can laugh hard and laugh often and laugh early (shown so very well in Blume's Blubber, that great tale about writing, whale riding [double etendre if you know the story as intimately as I might, and as I would wish the next generation of rising women and women writers]) and also that when I immerse the reader in a situation the reader very often wants me to lead and them to follow. There are some splendid samples like this - fiction and non-fiction. I think like Jane Austen, especially in argumentative/persuasive writing (nobody can take away my ability to argue nor my inchocate need to persuade - it must have been linked to some seperation/individuation process much more extreme in me and somehow I can't imagine my Polish boy going through - not like his elder brother - he seems so wonderfully productive, intuitive, educated, creative. I hope that when the boy I do love and who I have badly mistaken for the shadow of the one I hate - there's Jung, Shakespeare, Poe and Conrad - I mean like Heart of Darkness Conrad - which I will admit to reading and picking apart for the early Polonisms. Hey, Polonisms sort of draw me in. Sometimes I think this is to do with my big worry concern that Polonism will go out of style or fashion. Louisa May Alcott and Daphne Du Maurier were authors that really presaged this esteoric concern of mine - and I am trying to fashion something about peripatic writings - I think they are more general when the person is on the move. You can so tell that a person is being dynamic in her systematic side of her thought process. When she is dynamic, it feels like to the reader that she was so freed. Hence the beautifully and wrought iron tension yet fairy lighted Luna Park feeling of much teenage and young adult fiction, the kind I thought I wanted to write once and now I'm not quite so sure. I am thinking now if I appeal to the latency set - the sort of thing Del Simpson wanted us to think of when we made our books - we both of us. And as well as being far more dynamic I get it now about kids being playful and little animals learning about life. Torey Hayden's The Tigers Child really works and stirs and beats that metaphor, and I can imagine there are some languages - not particularly Germanic, and Romantic isn't nearly as sexy as when you've been brought up with it. I cannot particularly imagine Russian and Polish as sexy at least if I imagine for a while through native speaker [!] eyes. And native speaker and ESL student are like fighting words. Picnic Week 1995, anyone? I'll tell the story if I can have the courage to make it sound a little heartfelt and not like a heart hug to the reader. Right now it sounds like someone is throttling the girl I was with air. It reminds me so much of when the girls would cover me with grass, which is a liminal which has stayed with me. I want to sort of insuitate the feelings that the woman she has so grown into positively, realistically and resillently is now saying that never was and couldn't ever be anybody's bitch. The position of bitch with a capital B is a wonderfully empowering one. I can imagine Patti Smith being one. Anna Waronker - yeah yeah yeah! Of course, Aristotle was like the king of peripatic writers. I can imagine Aristotle being this Greek guy today like our librarian. Want to write more about the librarian and the holding environment. Need to go to same. I can so understand why you might like to do work experience at one. It is a very direct way of helping people. They consume the information and assume and presume it on their own experiences. And I can see the relation between the theatrical projection. Some scary absurdist plays do that sort of thing: After Dinner (Bovell: we girls fought so over the Monica monologue that the woman might have been a doll. That can be a very sexy thing. Would like to explore: childlike, childish, childhood and incipient sexuality. The power of the 'gonna be' which probably makes a certain kind of very honest, integral, jounaissance) and also Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf (Albee. I'm still surprised by how much I was able to learn and take in. I couldn't do anything but take in, and my thriving side so wants to show off, share joy, share praise. This is not like me - others never expected it from me or someone like me that they draw in their heads like a shadow magic lantern of the type used in one Road to Avonlea story. I read the real thing and I knew it was another writer. They had the words of the story but not the music. Like they were carrying it as a skeleton box with a cat in it. Is the story then real or pretend? I don't understand why we don't treasure what we need to measure instead of it consuming it. Consuming it as me is a lot better, but still not like the mature, empowered response for which I am groping right now in the dark. It is bothering me a lot less not being understood. I half can't believe that I am coping so well, but I have much more of a misunderstood:understood history. It makes me savour the family who does and will understand me so much more. That's got to be good. Security in incochant and incipent transactions within the family. For the first time in nearly 10 years, have been very open with Maman. It's partly the illness, but I didn't see a need for it when I was well because I saw no need for it when we were alive and present. Hungry ghosts. I believe in giving them a fish or especially them fishing for memories themselves when they want to eat them. I know the ghosts are pretend and yet I sort of consciously make them real. Slightly less control and I would be having dissociative episodes, which I am having this week. The no need for sleep or food is getting surreal. The food I can understand just now, and I shall so eat with a will when I am well. I will probably have a studio apartment and the man I write with).
Cory being a legend. He is like awesome. And he had this incipient sexiness which all the geographical girls. And Mrs Dunkley. I now realise how much her empowerment and encouragement matters. I was a good girl getting her work done. I think it is like 70 defence: 30 real. That 30 percent was the part she was able to bond with. Like, I would always appear to get her jokes while doing my dulce decorum thing, which in my first year I was so wonderful at. I wanted to get away from the bad girl I was being constructed as. More like difficult.
I'm not difficult by a long shot. I know this from the people who so get me in the gut when I talk passion and compassion and love. Went to pick up a book about Van Gogh. Was so going to expect I would have to treat this book with care. I care more for people, and I so have my caring for books. Sometimes books to me are more like people and objects. There are people I love so much that I want to be like Laura in Glass Menagerie and put all her animals in here. And I get the symbolism now and I can analyse it and communicate it and get it at a gut level and put it across to this really comprehensible level. And I can see and feel. It's like I am compensating big time for my sensori-neural difficulties, now I have this context and like this mental map makes sense. I so get "Cardboard and sand is grownup play ..." that Temple said of Tom, because I now directly and indirectly get this level of relationship with men. And I am thinking lots more visually and the other senses will come too. I know my auditory stuff is coming along too - this is the most disordered sense, especially in a spatial relations context.
I could be so the best conceptual maths student. I don't need to feel bad because now I have designed my own ways to live work and study and I am confident in communicating them and relating them. And I thought this really soft pink bunny thought (can you tell from this place that it is playground and playgroup week - why oh why did the paper not come)? And I heard that the old Pizza Hut is going to be a childcare centre. What a beautiful example of rehabilitation. Steve will so love it when I share with him. I don't know if he knew I wanted to work with children someday. I don't know that we shared it. I was like, so focused, on my writing, and so still scared, tentative, uncertain. This is the sort of fear some men know what to do with, and the woman can so empower the little guy inside the man by teaching, modelling, scaffolding. I am so living Vygotsky and the others now. I like innately get working this way, and I am working for play as much as I ever am for more concrete and abstract - oh so literaliste now from hindsight.
It's only by developing my mental landscape and moving stuff around in it metaphorically that I get time. I know I can get time now. I can't get time by seeing it and looking at it. Yet I feel time and I am at home in it. I feel at home in it most when I honour my space. And I honour it by being natural with the clutter, the way Mirka would be at home. I like that sort of living house, as opposed to the other kind. And I am so ready.
Maybe I could be my own sort of engineer. I must admit that I have done so many social engineering things. And I could so help people and give them my skills by example. This is all I wanted when I was a very little girl and I get it on a deep level that the small girl inside me would get. It's like my feelings are now this polyphonic soundscape and each feeling is like a note. That is how I was able to write Our trust is an awesome trust and I could feel the song moving and flowing and I just felt intuitively that it would so work. And people would mean it and follow it. Rather like See You at the Pole. I'm more comfortable making double entendres. I was shit scared of doing euphemisms. I said Voldemort and I used it in such a powerful rhyme. I said his name.
And I was shit scared about the future. I mean, like, what future? I think I now sort of see psychologists as cyborgs who fix your programming. I know so much about Linux and Unix. When I was little I had a system like a DOS/CPM (remember the old Commodores - computers, people - Roger had one!).
I not just respect creative people. Again I was so scared to maybe like stay in my own world. I mean, like I have opened the sluice gates that separated my mind and heart when I was so very very sick and unhappy and scared. I mean, I couldn't even drop a pin around a certain people (yes, show me a people, how wonderfully ridiculous, and so Chomskyian - Green ideas sleep furiously). But now I so see Eric Berne and Transactional Analysis so much better and truer now. I am going to be such a strong fourth force lady, now I have abandoned especially the fourth estate. Journalism is no good for me. I look forward to the time when religious, realistic and speculative will all combine in a multiverse of genre and form.
Even genre awareness is up 100%. I can now identify the reader so well. I used to have these sort of subclinical paranoid ideas - I say subclinical because there was like this realistic - 51%-49% maybe - possibility that perhaps they could come true. I know good ideas come true too and I am much better equipped to live with the possibility and I am less scared to have more radical ideas and then I will get new and better and realistic ones.
And I feel like this little girl who has grown up so incredibly fast and so incredibly far. I think I understand my first three years so much better now, and the other three years (1989-1992). I used to think I could so not get in touch with about 6-30 age range. Yet here I am seriously getting a childcare qualification. Must be all these not-so-great nannies. That's my selfish competitive ambitous side. Yet there is like another dimension to my ambition, like as if you were cutting this apple and doing it for the birds or this little kid that you love so much and you loved the little him and you are going to love the grownup him so very very much .
I now know what a gutless prick I was in Honours years, especially very early in the first. I know the reason too. I was so scared people would punish me for being sick that this very much depleted my energies and insights that would help me to get well.
Back then I learnt how to set up boundaries and this works so well. I am so going to model with the kids by telling them if they want a house and garden and a pool [!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all the way to the moon or at least the glass ceiling - this is so funny them hitting the glass ceiling!]. And young ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) doctor_leggett paid me like the biggest compliment. I am now so much more available to men now I have abandoned my conformist pretence. Okay mate, I'll just show you what I'm like. I have this corpulent Geyer-type that I can sort of access and use it especially when I really want someone to love me for me to quote a beautiful Mariah Carey song from my girlhood, actually the beginning of my professional career. That white tent is to me as a symbol of me what it could be to other people. I was going through a point of relative mutism and introversion - if you had MBTed me at that time I would have probably hit the roof like a High C.
As I gain more courage in my personal and professional career and my developmental and geopolitical trajectory. The more I embrace myself and others the more tolerance will give me when I am ready and confident to receive it. I never used to be so ready, set, go on that level. I can recall that I wasn't motivated like this after 1994. I wonder how I decided I wanted to be a pro writer when I grew up. Did I have like this power, this intuition. You know it's woman's power, witchy woman as goes the Eagles song. Their women are so like men would experience them in their time and place. I don't think we women have as much perspective on our guys because we're not quite brave enough to take the risk of being one of the guys. I have. I'm proud. I did it then, and I owned it as one of my signature strengths. That is why Peer Support worked so beautifully. I wasn't quite making up the Little Fellow stuff that's been here. It came from my idealisations and much more directly from my experience of devaluation and idealisation. I feel like a human ticker tape when I discuss those two words, as if I had been one of Papa's stocks and I rise and then I crash. But then I feel like this fluctuation is nature, and not like a human construct manipulable by a mere computer, which I must say in a few words is how I feel about psychiatrists and the psychologists. Oh shit. April 6 explained viscerally. It is a possibility, though and I am going to live with all the possibilities and options in the most complete, comprehensive way I can.
It's amazing how organic writing on the computer feels. Again like when I was little and did not get all these uni habits. I did NO creative writing in the sixth form. Again I can't deal with the competition to develop co-operation theme of a certain neurotic-bordering-on-psychotic. That fucking woman was hypomanic. I can imagine her eating her husband, consuming her husband. This is a pretty three-dimensional-imagining. I cannot imagine her eating the dad of her children, rather the guy she ran off in October 1995. That is yet another horrid betrayal which I now see through cellophane glass and one of those paper windows. I may yet make lots of cranes and do Visegrad proud. |
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| "This House believes that it is not so important to get all As as to be all smiles" |
[May. 25th, 2006|02:17 pm] |
Try to write an affirmative and an alternative argument in relation to the statement.
Put in lots of friendly true details about your school life. If you're not comfortable, or your school life was more like a prickly canvas, use a role model or an imaginary persona/avatar who did like school and did try very hard to give it all she got.
Maybe just about 600 - 800 words.
Of course it can really be as long or as short as you like.
I generally am usually able to write 5 written pages in about 30 minutes, which is to say 600 words, nearly. |
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| Some little reflection on the relationship between disgust and moral ideas |
[May. 25th, 2006|02:06 pm] |
If I am more easily disgusted than most people, how does that change my relationships and especially the ones to whom I have a moral obligation? If one is or ever has felt disgusted with a person's conduct, but one genuinely knows that he cannot help?
Discuss this in relation to a text you have studied and read.
Use the new media stimuli to think about it in depth and breadth.
Pick up lots of realia.
Release your fury in your first draft, or other very strong basic emotion.
Cry and vomit and you might well feel your disgust.
Notice yourself positively and critically! Do you tend to feel disgust more over things that you essentially have no control and therefore no credit/investment/blame? |
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| Our trust is an awesome trust - based freely from the Hillsong tune. Original lyrics by me. |
[May. 25th, 2006|01:37 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | agape love, childhood, co-convenor, co-guarantor, limerence, poetry, pragma love, prose, respect, tolerance, visegrad trust | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Somewhere having my day in court. | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  flirty | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Wannabe by the Spice Girls | ] |
Our trust
is called the Visegrad trust
You and I must to ourselves and each other admit
(before we get into deep shit)
it's an awesome responsibility
balancing privilege and abundance
distributing to all fairly
whether the mixing bowl
or the dole.
Embracing all members
of the Polish community
isn't always easy!
Helping Australians equally
embrace and harness
unity in diversity
can often end up wheezy!
But we will always know why
bother and encourage others to try
Always wishing
safe passage
and harmony.
Physically
emotionally
Polite in
our homes
acting courteously
and honourably.
Giving a hundred
percent welcome
for our captains
in industry
Humanitarians
and mentors
we hope to show
tolerance
diplomacy.
Once safe
and secure
in our wide brown
land
We will try
always your concerns
to first understand
Then we will
help you
communicate
powerfully.
The medium
the message
Moonchild Press
provides
exciting
reading
Readership middle years
to middle age
helping every age and stage
Life's circle reveals
Moonchild's
eternal reveilles
Learning English and Polish
no such thing as early or late
We will always
start you with
a blank
if not clean slate.
Bilingualism helps us all
to stand tall
learn even better
to understand we tolerate -
we understand this is hard
even for the bard
a writer needs a wife
or at least support for life!
Partnership - colloborations
for close on fifteen years
We try honestly
though humbly
representing
reinventing
literary and artistic ideals
reality
legacy of post communist Poland
democratic Australia
While in euphonium this
important part
in which we trust!
We challenge
legendary
challenge
hegemony
Bring together
Polish ideals
with sensivity adapt
that is our best guess
this is hard - we must confess
We could not do it
if we didn't help each other
like literary sister and librarian brother
Socretean practice and theory
of self-examination searing
Never trusting
what at first might be appearing
We focus on what small thing
might to us be endearing!
While we realise lasting repute
does - never did - not lie on being cute
but with complete honesty
reaffirm our commitment
slouch towards integrity
Unlike your multinational Starbucks and Walmart
We share with you
(y)our best interests at heart
to Australian reality
finding our mutual way
to the recipriocal start
it's the only way
It's up to you
we never make you stay
once you're safe
we know ourselves
you can't always look back
We respect values
stretch back from long history
now - you - in the easy chair! - do stop snoring
Polish history is far from boring
Learning may pay you back double, triple, quadruple with interest
even if getting dates and people right
is initially a mess!
We do try to keep the legacy of 1995
the international year of tolerance
the letter and the spirit
with us still alive.
Since we touched that internal (infernal!) flame
we learnt - that when we burnt - we hurt the same!
Preaching our message
prompting and scaffolding
kindly maximum capacity
challenging patriarchy
not forgetting the pain of hegemony
the pain of no change is worse
even when change might seem a curse
It is the salad's dressing
when it tastes good and adds a tang
ultimately a great good blessing!
Always remember
when tracking trends economic
and embracing inner animal political
Stretching our resources -
making bold and brave choices -
with us always remember
from January right up to December -
Never forget
always
we'll try not to regret
Let's put our history
our future
to this most vital test.
Effort achievement commitment
stretching
investing until
our good
becomes good enough
Remember here in Australia
we have a knockabout kickarse attitude to failure!
There is always more
completely we understand if your tummy had starved in Warsaw!
And when that you find in Melbourne when your body is distended
we commiserate when you learn it can't do the things for which it is designed and intended!
Just raise your voice
and make the effort to ask
Questions out loud
achieving truth in statements
committing forward pushing
discourse
This is a matter of course
to be pursued
through the life course
We will always
push debate forward
and through rational discussion
with healthy disruption
and natural interruption!
our ideas develop
in the style
service with a smile!
of our own pilgrim's progress
we've found it's human development
so if you commit one hundred and ten percent
remember Horton the Seuss elephant
Continuing to leverage
(get your intriguing eyes off my cleavage!)
Look first behind my mask
try to realise
we eat first with our face
fingers knife or fork
our own style is ours
never shame or disgrace!
You are seldom if ever pressured
Quite the contrary -
(remembering mother Mary)
your contribution
our execution
will by us valued
by your friends and families treasured
We all want to make a difference
we understand the undertow of feeling insignificant
of sometimes feeling so small
we can't walk or talk yet, if at all
Receptive we try to be
respectful to all believers
so many sincere creeds!
An embarrassment of riches
let's try not to be jealous of their fancy britches!
Proactive we have been
continue we hope to be
in matters of life
the pursuit of love
its uniquely perfect happiness
the lack of which
will inevitably depress
but this does not have to be!
Just be yourself
show your foot
that walks best!
I hope you do find the hand
which signs the paper
and tries to mutually understand.
As long as you hope
and both want it to be
and gain it freely and morally!
Support of honest intention
proactive in intervention
strategies cutting edge in prevention!
When we deal with ordinary
- yes - even happiness is imperfect
and always we remember -
barring an extremely stressful temper -
People are in themselves great ends
be careful to judiciously measure the means
whether financially in kind
keeping Mother Teresa
and Mandela
how could we forget hero-electrician Walesa
who in the martial law protest
Poland first attracted the heart and mind of the middle class West
It really isn't not so long ago
in the long perspective
perhaps I draw too long a bow
returning our weary minds to the
enlightened simplicity
of the white rose of Athenian democracy
fighting for which has bled together a willing coalition's blood
too often though peaceful intention and intervention
is trampled thoughtlessly by thug/jack boot
hopefully not by khaki hat and akubra the heat to suit!
So long as your own
deeply held values
and convictions
have high congruence
with what we are obliged
to upbold
You are free to practice philosophy absolutely relatively completely
with us the distinction - analytically or continetally
is neither here or there
- so long as you do it consistently!
Truly madly deeply
for whatever you most deeply hold together and want to trust
Do what you can, you really don't need the word should!
Not if you want to practice all in your nature and nurture
and protect and hold fast to all which is truthful, beautiful and good!
And while we're going through that negative gear
kindly remember we do what we do in the now and aren't fussy about the way we do it here!
Don't live - as if - live not as if you could but as you truly must
and then you will please and delight and earn our trust!
Live always in truth
if it means talking in strine and strewth
so be it
though we do it far too often holding sheep's eyes and bones we confess!
slang often causes storm and stress
misunderstanding on both sides far too often makes learning English a soggy tissue of mess!
Not to mention this exclusively with your mind to mess - neither to cause distress but nor to impulsively reaffirm your obviously to us - and burgeoning to you - heartening interest
in the work rest and play of our trust
Here a regularly ordered routine
we here never really considered obscure obsolete or obscene!
If us you want to serve but you're unsure in or for what capacity
do try to make an appointment with your friendly trustee
if you have a knotty question on behalf of your beneficiary
or your judicary/fiduciary needs we do have
two experienced and hardened nominees!
We have always tried to hold clear
our values in both heart and mind
And if a body ever hurt another body
we at least will never kiss and tell
we ourselves have learnt from early experience far too well!
And we know the consequences and when to blow the whistle
show the card and ring the siren which happens to ting ting
blowing in the wind with its sound like a gentle little bell!
We hold the historical ancedents
so that what we believe and learn makes some real sense
in our ever growing universe of imagination
our ever expanding multiverse of memory!
With absolute respect
for individual decision and institutionally run precision
here - you are still in fact free to call it as you see it!
especially if you feel your self vulnerable in the face of those who tend to be
or would like to befriend but are too isolated ever to be considered
complicit alike in maintaining defensive or paranoid
positions of ideology thus a rotten and falling hegemony
Losing grousing choosing winning living fast and loose
with tight as tight boundaries
Within tolerances within preferences
you are empowered to do
just whatever you please
creating your own neverending tale
with whatever you wish!
We try to emulate the ideals of the boy scout
If any of you ever cause trouble with a sex scandal
not only will you lose your card and your clout
your selfishness and abusiveness is the sort of attitude
we would be to do much better without!
If however it is with altruism's beats your heart has always in some way in accordance with inner and outer harmony without boundaries or jump hoops and check boxes to tick,
And you promise to try really hard not to be a dick
or if you are a man to crack too much of a stiffy when you first know your powerful prick!
Then we would not be remiss to recommend
a continuing personal and working relationship for which we will investigate for you more thoroughly whatever good - or evil - you might intend.
So long as it matches and despatches concentrated on the sacred side so many forget too often to tame and to tend!
We hope you are here for direction and one day someday find a critical mentor or a four-seasons-in-one day friend!
So long as you remember that you aren't here to get drunk and we may not always look as kindly if you seem to be a fairly aggressive punk
but with women and men of the calibre of Roger or Alecia or Demi Moore
Of their truth and celebrity - of directly achievable and reflective glory - like Dicken's twist and with Dickin's Northcote grandmother - in life and to cheat deaf, we will say Yes and ask for More
and try our best to settle when we need to do with so much less
and with our spirit and account to the letter the newspaper or magazine we shall try with our writing and speaking to impress!
Finding direction -
We accept the negative
Always try to back it up with our accentuation of the positive
this softens the blow
we have and do still have feelings ourselves you know
And though now to you we have seemed exalted
in living memory some of our obligations we have had defaulted
but now - much more often - we kiss and make up (and say sorry to those we fucked up/who fucked us over and over/until we cried red red rover/and poof!/they seemed to have heard never cry wolf!) over a kentucky martini with irish cream malted!
When we were alone but together little wild colts
who shared both signature strengths and life-threatening faults.
And as we both have grown up
perhaps no greater lesson than this -
in a recipriocal relationship one will always find things in the other
which remind of the smothering mother -
the solution, of course is to admit or quit - to put up or to shut up
Now that we are grown up - we hope - we forget how easy it can be say
and how when we were children we would scratch each other's faces
how we hurt each other in the pursuit of our selfish outbursts of truth
now we do look back and we think and wonder how could we both have been so crude rude and uncouth!
It is not so long ago we both were introduced to socialisation
with regard to 'dulce decorum' ... we both found damnation or at least humilation
As long as each understood where the latter was coming from we were all right
and on the importance of 'patri' we both found far too important to bicker or to more seriously than play fight
and we both had our diverging ideas of what we both found good and bad about civilisation
and flew like homing pigeons - migratory birds, anyway, - back to the founding values of our respective nation
We must remember that when we both and other people struggle
we none of us - not even the most sensitive and deviant for it - can forever be protected in a bubble.
We all know that has led often to trouble.
Now we have both grown up we share an unafraidness of complexity
and we will never let argument or rhetoric impugn our mutual dignity
Wishing both as much as the other for peace, intention, safety and security.
Ourselves repectful rarely failing to see the other side or point of view
and knowing that it is deeply held and for that valid, reliable and true
To respect privacy and confidentiality for similar aims but different rooted reasons
embedded and embodied through empowered and articulate intelligence
but initally a barrier to a world that if we were honest did not forgive and made so little sense
I wish I had known you when you were a small fellow
Perhaps then I might have worked and we might have been far more mellow
We do honour and respect each other when we say hello
May we meet again when we are each visiting Lodz or Warsaw and our - well yours - all right, ours - what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine? Right? Got that?
Poor boy - to negotiate separation was simple when you believed I'd turn on the light and I'd go and I'd stay gone
and when you did realise I would keep on coming back we built upon ourselves a gently intrusive bond
Which is the long way to saying
I try to use your history in weighing
And measuring
So I keep sharp and not dull in the appreciation and commiseration of what I am treasuring.
I became intimately aware
while you were not there
that while lots you did might appear to the outsider or objective
on the subjective it was obvious you were young, dislocated, disconnected and very very sad.
What a pity
we did not scaffold better your introduction to our fair city.
But I must admit we ourselves would fail such a stringent test.
We are humans after all who must do our best
I do appreciate now understanding Warsaw so much better
and I wish concerns and prejudices would not now too much fester
You have been struggling since before your conception
with the power and the magic spell known as perception!
I know it has been to you as a rotter,
and I wish I could make it go away like the scar of Harry Potter.
But I always do like to hear your own report
of how you are coping with your own personal Voldemort
If we cannot yet heal
with our resources and our hand that we are given in the cosmic deal
May I remind you that it is true that all humans must do their best
This is our universal law - our cosmic task - let's at least try - I do hate to see you cry - but when I take a bath - and I hear you laugh - I welcome the rapture - and try again to read or write together another chapter! - whether in Poland or in the West.
I love you with so much agape love - that suggests compassion
I did it long before tolerance became a superficial fashion
I did always know your problems were real
I did try to turn a blind Freddy, but I could not ignore still that you were so awkward at every meal.
I knew we could not deal yet with manner of the type with elbows on the table
Until you felt your matter stable and your method secure
I knew quite well with you the battle was treatment and not some miracle obscure.
Without some way of knowing whether you had survived and why you failed so far to thrive,
I did not any longer wish particularly to alive.
Far far too well we have known
How it feels to have the mask exposed, the cover blown
It's a risk, isn't it, to let the true us be known!
How much easier to start to open up and to reveal to a trusted few
How much harder to explain in a way that feels simple, natural and true!
Please remember next time the situation seems so long and almost irresoluble and you bang your head in the car window, for the moment absolutely inconsolable
How hard it is to try to open up to what has long deemed been intolerable
But we will try and try again until we win or at least obtain a fair go - and that is the moral
as gritty as a precious oyster pearl and as shiny as coral.
Don't worry. I will try to keep our friendship stable and secure
and in this my intentions this time are quite completely pure
Even while you must still have a tough time to mature
My brave boy - still in a special way my dear boy - we will see you yet a master of your dragons - but this time in control of your development!
When I hear that moment it will have made everything we've shared seem like it's heaven-sent!
I will try to help you through the process of the becoming
the person I know I see
the person that is really deep inside there
and is right now just a bit scared to be!
I have known you since you were a boy of seven
So very nearly from the cradle my picture your high chair must obscure - certainly from the age of reason to the time when our hormones made life obscene and impure! - may we continue through high table to high heaven!
And we must do more than tolerate
We must more actively and adaptively negotiate
What you what and whether and wherever and whenever
Yesterday, today and the continuance into the death of the illusion of invincible forever ...
Closely -
Distantly -
Essentially -
More alike than different
We love the spenders and we will too protect the spent
as we were once protected at that stage
by decent folk of both youth and age!
Let us ourselves always be innovative in trying new ways
to negotiate these everlasting problems with folkways!
We remember - and now we avoid - and now protect others - from those who would profit with malfeasance and betray the intent
And temporarily our star performances the anxiety betrays our make up and our melting faces reflect our upset.
Our trust is a wonderful trust
We hope it's a sound way of protecting whatever legacy
Please consider joining our family.
And you will grow to really see
You really do not wish to change a Pole just to have him fit in
We have tried too hard with round peg and square hole
Let us then forever learn the lesson of the sunny openness of a child eighteen months old!
Don't worry for dindins we will try our hardest to bump him in.
And if you please
we descend into the intricacies of motherese.
And then we will bump and bump a little more as we move on up!
But please never overload the signal or overload the transition from tolerated to mated!
Remembering Solidarnosc while we reminscience through Conrad's Marlow in our vessel called Endeavour
(That's for you - saw it cheap second hand - immediately my incochate thought - your very own enchanted storyland - ecriture feminine still if you should remember me!)
We know you too would love one day to prevail.
Don't worry I'll leave the marks - and the dog shit - well on the trail
And when from us and our sphere you may move
And to us you may one day prove
Yes - we will help you prove
Develop skills and not just get but stay in the grove.
Creating together an absorbing fantasy and turning it into consensus reality!
It's a miracle when our plans change from the idealistic to the materialistic and then to the rationalistic!
Applies to all - alike the neurotypical and the neurodivergent
(My dear boy - please don't mix whites and colours with that particular detergent!)
No - silly boy - I want to promote collegiality and commonality!
You know that's damn hard - I want to make you see what I see every day in every way
Breaching and teaching, once again, unity in diversity!
That is our object (and relational) constancy - one day it will be crystal clear what it is how much there is to see!
From there the next logical support is to support and arrange
How well we have known and your tested your adapativity to change
The detailed response to change is the crux of the transition!
And whether you barely cope - and I hope you still hope against hope!
We will support you in most every major life decision.
Without scission and always with the Swiss watch position
Now that you keep and have kept such a thoughtful blog
Do you have trouble still with the watch analogue?
It's really quite simple.
There is a freckle faced dimple
but let's get rid of this realia
and I want to immerse you in my vision of Fantasia
Whatever you look like whatever clothes you do wear
We impress you how to get there
When at last your family embarked on port
We shall afford you much warm support
and pretend the people who want sport want per se to play sport!
You remember we should support refugees, skilled and humanitarians
with unconditional positive regard
Let me say that in maths you and I are both pretty much the common garden variety re - tard!
That's okay - most people adore the common variety bard.
It works both ways!
Especially with writing poetry and dramaturging / purging plays!
But we will learn and with learning we will burn
The problem is not how we get it -
or even why bother or why worry -
we are still so young - now eat this gorgeous Flurry -
which I ordered in Maccers just for you
and is a sensory delight and treat that is beyond tip top true blue true!
One of us came here as a weeny little tike
And we can imagine his feelings as he first learnt the freedom of a bike
One stood always by him and made it clear that though his behaviour she didn't always like
She always worked hard and consistently over a dozen years
To work over her remaining prejudices to feel an additional emotional commotion to the ones she met with pearly beyond price like bubbly tea balls laughter and tears
She appeared as A A Milne's Dairy Queen
and floated through life it seemed with the unconcern of the bumblebee
She would not have considered it a normal thing
to ever use her sting
in anything but self-defence
and even there she sat on the fence.
She was a gentle worker bee
who - even then - condemned the pure social climber and the narcissistic wanna be.
They both were in a school magazine
published together
I bet they never
Thought how hard the ensuing months and years would be
Sometimes than for those who don't write regularly like Do You and Sue Me!
To balance as always risk with responsibility
They had then to do it so delicately
like a beautiful butterfly.
Matured they had become from when they first met as child prodigies
and she absolutely fascinated about his fabulous early life over clear blue seas.
These captains of industry
Separately - and together again - we soon shall find out the results of our bet!
Somebody somewhere will follow the trackless path of truth they have set
(but not quite yet!)
And none of us who knew them closely or at all will forget
That at any time either or both they could have acted in ways we could seriously and deeply regret
Two choices
One vote
One value
Building castles in the air
Staking claims foul and ultimately fair.
Though for a long time they had to part
And then they felt ambivalence over a possible new start
United once more - we hope - together they mostly stand
A professional partnership as long - as loyal - as committed as the wedding or engagement band
Their power incochate as we remember their baby shower
Separately they overcame
things which would drive most of the rest of us insane
and together then realised and struggles were so nearly eerily the same.
And when she at last she showed him how to care
To stand or fall as the hot chicks/chaps do
If he now does is probably not to us strangers here or there.
What matters to us: they chose bravely what was inclusively and instinctively fair.
Their shared mental Melways will uphold legal and natural and moral law
Which of course does apply everywhere civilised whether in London - Paris - Athens - Warsaw - Melbourne - Canberra
Without patronisation or pity
We do try to cover the needs of each city
We embrace the reflected and reflective philosophical traditional glory of Greece
And always we will continue to try to release every day new doves of peace.
We remember and bury the mockingbird
If killed we would not be true to our beginning and ending in the ministry of the Word
Which does not mean we shun our facing inevitable tug of war between Greek or Greek
which matters so much more than we both knew before we ever did speak - we both or either can speak!
We respect every animal or bird
Life and literature, an abundance of the preponderance and preposterousness of the absurd.
As long as people are tolerant, diplomatic and essentially kind
The word, spirit and flesh of the trust will minister salve to almost every heart and mind.
We stand or fall
on the strength of our ow | | |
enraged
confused
cheerful
distressed