I feel shocked, confused, ambivalent.
It's April 7 1995 in May 26 2006.
Unity in diversity.
Acceptance in rejection.
Reactive and proactive
Projective and so defensive.
My thoughts derail far too easily.
For right now - but not for ever - I may not be well enough to take on any intellectual, emotional or productive work.
I hate it. I've just overcome a tragi-comic life experience and the upshot is a psychiatric disability.
It was finally time for fate to be cruel when it has been so unexpectedly kind.
I am certain I did not deserve the blessings that I have.
I don't know whether that's optimistic or realistic.
I love healthy salads. Word salads - their verbal-lingustic equivalent are good.
I have a lot of other multiple intelligences and the past knowledge and hope of future wisdom will draw me through at least next week.
I guess the last bastion of empowerment - and the lifelong legacy of betrayal and incompetence and fraud and deception and everything else the whole shebang.
What a way to begin and what a way to end.
No more heros, no more slaves, no more gods.
I'm in this world and I hope I have allowed greater fantasy potentials to rise for reality.
Others will have to do the hard yards. From this time forward I have decided to act first last and only for myself.
I want to carry my own stability or security. Home, hospital or monastery; my options are going to be very limited.
Even the most permissive environment has rules.
Even the most loving people need structure.