And I didn't say I was institionalised here and now.
I almost certainly would be.
I want a tranquil not a restrictive placement with maximum freedom.
My mental health has been really great.
Still not so confident about writing vs. speaking.
It's like I never shut up.
Not only but also: I should never have listened to the people who would use their power and authority only to disempower me and silence me - or to silence anyone I care about. Silence I see as this delicate violet or maroon shield, and like a soft blanket that surrounds and nurtures and protects.
Some silence is like blue or yellow and that's when it's conspiciously inappropriate. And another red and black and green silence and sometimes yellow spots is when I feel too fucking tense and incochate with words. That would be the very very eptiome of the Just because I can't speak [right now/just yet] doesn't mean that I [won't have soon/when I choose to/when I am empowered/able] haven't anything to say."